and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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