i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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