Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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