YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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