found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
