They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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