turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
