let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
