I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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