yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
