So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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