a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
