Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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