She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
