Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
