The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
