I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
