i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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