What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
