i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
