Non-Jews are for practice
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
