Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize