I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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