yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
