Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
