Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
