I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
