I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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