OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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