She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
