Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize