im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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