just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
