Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My hand turned me down
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Randomize
