Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
