Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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