WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
