i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
