your room smells of hookers.
And success
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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