and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
