I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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