Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
