3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just google imaged poop.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
