This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
