Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
