I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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