Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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