Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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