when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
