I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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