because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He has the fingertips of a God
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