But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
