Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
