We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
