Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
