..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
