We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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