Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
