i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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