I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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