I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i will never coherently bang her
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
