I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
