He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
